Lord Grace's Enlightenment
July 10, 1986
Massive opening into Bliss-Consciousness. Great Clarity and Consciousness way beyond veilings falling away. Bliss carried me through many higher Samadhi levels like a surfboard, and yet totally Bliss-permeated at the same time on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual planes, all at the same time 24 hours a day for about three and a half months, and although after that it reduced somewhat, it didn't really recede for three years. Even at that point, it didn't really go away. I have not ever ceased to be Who I Am.
At night, not that I was aware of time, the Energy stilled enough for the body to rest as I continued contemplating. My hands would often reach up and spontaneously massage face muscles that were being stretched by huge continuous smiles and constant laughter. I had always been happy before, but this Happiness now was way off the map.
Everything accelerated massively. What had taken two and a half to three hours before, now was taking an hour or less, the increased energy was having that much of an impact. Often the counseling session was over the minute the client walked in the door, and then they stayed to meditate and integrate the shift.
I didn't have the words to express at the time what was happening. About anything. It would take time (months, years) before I integrated enough to be able to speak words about what I was experiencing internally, and the apparent resultant external shifts. True to Scripture, everything was changing internally. Nothing was different outside me, and yet as my inner shifted, my external responses to others and circumstances changed enormously.
Old patterns of responding automatically left. Obsessions disappeared, mainly apparent by their absence. Smaller viewpoints erased, replaced spontaneously by a Cosmic and global one. Indecision was replaced by decisiveness. Social conversation was replaced by communications about direct experience of enlightenment and the GODHead Energy. Posture straightened. Greater eye contact occurred spontaneously.
The body ate little. It lost no weight. It was being fed directly by the Great Energy pouring through me. I don't remember any food preparation occurring on my part. Others spontaneously were moved to shop, fix and blend salads and fruit drinks. Not enough external energy or focus to really put attention on chewing and barely able to summon up exertion to use a straw. Restricting clothes or that emphasized body enhancement seemed ridiculous. Caftans looked presentable and dignified when students were there, and would also cover my knees modestly when I lay down to meditate.
Night became day and day became night. No external schedule defines me. No memory. I was so in the moment, I had no recollection of the past, no concern about the future. I fully understood the saying, Be Here Now. I AM IT.
Couldn't remember anyone's name. No differentiation of separation of any kind. I spontaneously called everyone Love, which is how I was experiencing everything. Unconditional Love permeated my energy field, Was me.
The Energy being radiated through me was enormous. People would walk into the room for a prearranged counseling appointment, take a few steps into the room, and would literally sag down onto the floor in Bliss and lay there laughing or with little Samadhi grins, spontaneously in deep meditation often for 3 to 6 hours at a time with no previous meditation instruction or background. They brought blankets to wrap themselves in and lay on the thick carpet when the couches and chairs ran out.
If anyone actually tried to talk about their problems during a counseling session, I would start laughing spontaneously. Often I was already laughing when they arrived. Everything I had ever worried about or wondered about was obviously totally ludicrous, as were their worries or fears. It was just too ridiculous to even consider seriously, let alone talk about. At this higher level, thinking and worry and conjecture were just a bizarre waste of time and obviously not worth it.
Consciousness replaced all dysfunctional mental and emotional conjecture. Wisdom obviously outshone thought. I seldom went out. I Am Complete within My Self.
Anything that occurred in my Consciousness that was needed just appeared. Students brought whatever they were moved to, and it was always just what had occurred to me. One of them would be driving downtown or to the store and suddenly they would spontaneously find themselves on my street and come in to see if I needed anything from the store, or if I had any errands to run.
People started leaving cash because i could not always predictably write a deposit slip or balance my checkbook. When they ran errands, I would just hand them a bunch of money, and they would bring back the change or make bank deposits when the money on hand became more than was needed.
Trusting these unknown servants was no issue. Paid in Energy and in Spiritual experiences beyond their ordinary access, money was petty in comparison. They gladly left their previously established rates, as rent and utilities still had to be paid so that we had a place to meditate together and our experiences were undisturbed.
Left the front door of my apartment unlocked because I could not always predictably easily walk down three flights of stairs to let them in, as it takes a perception of form to be able to walk, sensing the separate entities of feet, objects to walk around, safe steady places to place your feet, etc. At times legs like jelly or no awareness of feet or making contact with floor-ness or the car pedals when driving. Learned over time to walk and drive even when not perceiving a body.
I was and Am Whole, undifferentiated Wholeness. The complicated system of the way society had run was not needed any longer. Rules replaced by Consciousness. Everything happened spontaneously in a way that obviously repeatedly demonstrated the Great coordination of the GODHEAD. OM
Everyone who came around immediately went into Samadhi, and wanted meditation instruction after years of no previous interest, seeing in front of them living proof that no therapy was needed to ensure Consciousness or the release of what was clearly not That. They just laughed; it was over.
People who had known me before reported observing huge layers of personality sliding off. I felt blank, Pure Consciousness and still do. Within about 10 days of the initial experience, all I did was meditate very deeply, usually beyond any conscious body awareness. External formal commitments were over. Almost all clients became meditation students overnight.
Around two weeks later, on the phone I was moved to describe what was left of personality as a tiny speck of sand surrounded by an ocean of energy. Feelings were coming up about being invaded and swallowed up. A friend asked me to tune into the ocean of energy to see if it was friendly. It was obviously the same energy as mySelf. The moment I noticed that was so, the smaller self was immediately absorbed into the larger Self. Enormous Bliss and great Thankfulness emerged.
Bliss, Buddha Laughter, and Great Consciousness continued for the next three months. Worry and fear left. I saw clearly everything that I had ever worried about or feared was very funny because it was unreal, totally made up of previous misconceptions. Speaking occurred seldom, only a sentence or two a day, if that. I left notes for those running errands, or they would just get it intuitively. Consciousness has many ways to communicate.
An inclination to go into greater seclusion arose. Also aware of all the people coming to meditate that if I left, they would be without support. One day I just prayed and said,
"GOD, this life and whatever is left is Yours.
Whatever You want to do with it, is O.K."
All tendency for seclusion left. Deep meditation continued. About six weeks after the initial experience, the very deep profound Internal Voiceless Voice arose out of the depth of my Spiritual Heart and asked,
'Will you be a Guru for ME and Love MY children?'
After a pause, a deep interior response arose, "Yes."
Within three days the Shaktipat Energy came spontaneously into the palms of the hands and soles of the feet, and I began to be moved to transmit Energy Blessings for spiritual experiences. I was shown internally how to do this for some years.
Within a week or so someone asked that I have a Satsang, so that there would be a set time when new people could come and experience what was happening. I asked what that would involve (having no memory at the time of the hundreds I had attended), and he said that he had been to several. We would tell people when to come and to bring a pillow and a blanket. There would be a time to meditate and a time for people to ask spiritual questions. That seemed fine, and when the time came, the place was packed. A lot of it was in silence.
A new meditation student offered a larger place to teach in downtown, the third floor of an old mansion that had been converted into office space. We were given what had been the ballroom and library, as well as a small office space where I did private consultations, a bathroom, and a room with a sink where people could make a cup of tea or eat a snack.
People came on their lunch hours, and then came back after work. Most stayed all night to meditate, unable to leave being so moved by the energy. This continued for days. They did not go home to bathe or eat or change clothes, their Hearts were so moved to be in the Presence. Out of compassion I began cooking for them. Since they would not leave my Presence, I cooked so that they could eat. Although they seemed O.K., I was concerned that they would not be able to maintain their bodies over a long period of time. They were not yet stable at this level of vibration, nor were they all destined to be breatharians.
An apartment became available around the corner from the Meditation Hall where we were spending so much time, and I moved my residence there. It was there I cooked, let people take showers, change clothes, and rest their bodies in the living room on thick foam mattresses.
As long as they were in my energy field, there were times when the energy was briefly light enough when we could do these things. It was pretty brief. I was mainly Radiating. They were mainly meditating to receive, and then to integrate the Transmission.
As people had started to ask questions about their meditation, some asked that I set an actual time for classes, so that they would not miss anything, and I would not have to keep repeating what had been previously been said. That is how we came to have distinct classes at the Ashram. Of course, it has always been that it was only the start time would be predictable. We have always finished when the Energy was done. This is the class of GOD. How else could it be?
When it became apparent that most of the people coming needed to be in the Energy about twice a week to maintain their vibration level in Samadhi, two predictable classes were initiated several days apart to handle that requirement.
The husband of the student who had arranged the space became concerned over insurance coverage as the building was being used sometimes 24 hours a day. I was unmoved to stop anyone from coming as often as their Hearts moved them. There was something significant happening spiritually, and it seemed important to let it occur organically.
We rented a large house which we found out afterwards had been formerly used as a small convent. Two students moved in with me to form the initial residence of the Ashram and Retreat Center. The day we moved in, one of the neighbors who ran a machine shop next door, told me that this older part of the city was not safe for three young women to be living alone. I just laughed, and said, "We will be fine. GOD will take care of us."
People came and went 24 hours a day, and no one was ever harmed by the occupants of the neighborhood. The day we moved out almost a year later, the shop owner next door came out and remarked about how the crime rate had dropped starting the year before.
Much Shaktipat was transmitted. Students asked spontaneously to be initiated as disciples. All I could do was talk about GOD and Enlightenment, all that truly interests me.
Some months after experience, I was driving to an out-of-town airport and realized that I could not read the signs. The meaning of the traffic signs and lights had no understanding for me. It requires duality to register the difference between letters and space. No worry, just noticing what was happening. When I came to a fork in the expressway, I just offered it up, and the energy took me exactly where to go. Pulling into the airport and the place my friend was expecting me, I was moved to ask her to drive, but still unafraid.
This extreme non-duality while driving continued off and on for about four months. Other people drove. My attention was elsewhere, interior. It was not that I could not drive. I was not moved.
Now I could see the beauty of Creation and slip deeper into meditation as I was moved without having to be externally responsible. Delicious.
As time progressed, I sold my car, and eventually bought a bike with big baskets for groceries on the back. Now I drive when moved. I am the Wisdom of the Universe, the Wonder of surprise.
After about four months, I was moved to write Master Ram, my former Guru, and describe to him what had been happening. He gave me some instruction about how to direct Shaktipat Transmissions more precisely and told me to be selective and only transmit to energy to suitable students, to not cast pearls before swine.
He also said that the reason that I had had so many Gurus (four) was that each one had had something specific to teach me and now that I would be able to supervise people in all four stages of life (student, householder, hermit, and monk). He emphasized that it was important for me to continue to lead Enlightenment Intensives. He also told me to keep going, that there is always more.
I led an Enlightenment Intensive shortly after that, and went into a high level of Samadhi during the second day. There was an enormous amount of energy to be Transmitted, and I was moved to throw the rigid Zen sesshin type schedule out and Transmit until complete. Obviously a spontaneous format for Intensives was emerging.
Almost everyone had Samadhi experiences and/or flashes of Enlightenment, and the others came close and did shortly afterwards. I wrote Yogeshwar Muni, who had developed the Enlightenment Intensive, and he gave me his Blessing to let the Intensive to occur spontaneously for the purpose of Enlightenment.
Lilashah Bapu's disciple, my former Advaita Monism practical Vedanta Guru from Gujarat, India, gave me a Blessing to teach practical Vedanta.
Shortly after that I began spontaneously recording poetry about Enlightenment, which came out whole cloth. Writing in this manner is just another expression of Samadhi.
August 8th, 1988, I had profound Awakening into Unconditional Love. For about four months, waves of unconditional Love energy poured forth from this Spiritual Heart. Many were healed of dysfunctional relationship issues in the Presence. For two and a half years, almost of the Transmissions coming through spontaneously were that level of vibration, and the name was later interiorly changed to honor that it is the Grace of the Love coming through the Guru that is the Enlightener.
Further Awakening into Consciousness came May 31st, 1995, while teaching a gazing meditation in the Oakland Ashram.
"If there is no doership, there is no object and no focus (possible on it)
Only the Real
All there is Is the Absolute. Know That, and be free. When we truly get that all there is Is the Absolute (that is why it is Absolutely All) and that our only relationship is with this Self, everything changes.
All focus goes onto the Self. All else fades into the periphery.
Things become Real overnight. Everything we put our attention onto becomes That. Everything dissolves into the Real, turning in upon ItSelf to reveal the Real.
Everything becomes simple after that. There is no one to impress, get the attention of, get the approval of, challenge, get power over, be better than or subservient to. Everything Is. Approval already is given, was all along. Is. Great detachment occurs, Is. Doer-ship ends. There is nothing to do, or force. Force ends. There is no energy to force.
There is no object to dissolve or consider. There is only this Is. Undying, unborn, unchanging, unsought. The Real Is.
If we do not activate doer-ship, there is no object and no focus (possible on it).
Only the Real.
On the physical plane, nothing changes, but the relationship to it does.
Hurry stops. Time is. It is either time to do something and it occurs, or it is not (happening).
What is expressing, expresses.
Skies may fall, earthquakes rumble. What is, Is.
There is nothing to bow to. I am already sitting in the middle of It. How could it be outside of my Self?
Everything recycles because it is the Self. I am Indestructible. Undying. Self."
July 20, 2002
A rounded column of Light began to emerge like a large Shiva linga coming out of the top of the Crown Chakra. As it continued to rise, I experienced the outer head of the apparent physical body split open and the skin on the arms and chest peel back and fall away. A gold energy Divine Body emerged, totally uncovered as the regular physical body just parted and fell away down to the feet. This body is obviously my own, and is life-sized and has no hair. Not a visualization, I was experiencing it literally as I was seeing it. The energy was intense.
Once the Kundalini was completely out of the body, still connected at the soles of the feet, it changed presentation and became pure energy once again, rushing back down through the chakras rapidly and strongly, strong as a freight train. It paused and came out with a flickering around the outside of the Spiritual Heart, now as wide as the whole chest area, and from the top of the chest area to just below the rib cage, only not in the physical body.
Next the Kundalini rushed on all the way out through the rest of the body, continually moving through like a river at the velocity of a speeding train for a long time. When it reached the arms, it came through very strongly. This was not some minor chakra opening. It was the whole width of the apparent arm, the whole arm is one large open chakra channel. The energy raised the arms at one point with the strength and velocity of the Transmission they were Radiating so that they were outstretched and no longer resting on the arms of the chair.
It took a little while getting through the pelvic area (I was meditating in a recliner chair and not fully straight, which may have had something to do with that), and then broke through and rushed down through the apparent legs. Eventually they, too, were Radiating with enormous width of the opening and strength of the Transmission. When the energy completed its transit and rushed out the apparent feet, it seemed as if the Earth was also receiving an enormous Transmission, as well as the students in the room. OM
This went on for about 4 hours, and completed shortly after 1 a.m. I heard inside with a lot of energy present:
"There is no returning from this."
Outside and downstairs, the students were dropped physically onto the ground or floor and into meditation for hours wherever they were when it started.
Afterwards, I experience greater ease is assisting students with releasing blockages that previously seemed complex for all. Energy Transmissions often occur now from all over the apparent body. I feel one energy body rather than a string of apparently separate Chakras. The voice has deepened and become more melodious.
The massage therapist says that the former muscular tension in the muscles is gone. The chiropractor is ecstatic, and says I have a totally new body. I feel totally different. Divine Body. Greater Consciousness. More mature, adult.
Over the years, I have had many energy experiences. This outstripped it exponentially. I don't even know how to describe it in proportion. It has no comparison. The transition to it was very simple. Not far to go. Very different on the other side. OM
I don't know how to express Gratitude for this. I have no one separate to thank. I am beyond Gratitude. Gratitude has become MySelf. OM I Am the One. I lay this at My feet.
February 14, 2003, Valentines Day
Early this morning more Heart Awakening. The physical throat feels it opens directly into this greatly extended Spiritual Heart to include what before was the third, forth and throat chakras, no longer separate, one huge Spiritual Heart Chakra.
Great Energy. Great Detachment, very different from the first Awakening into the Spiritual Heart years ago. Increased Compassion. Love extended beyond before. Increased sharing of Love and Gratitude with others beyond immediate circle. Great quiet. Increased service and acknowledging those who serve me and with me. Focus generally in the Crown Chakra, connected with the Great Spiritual Heart. Increased healing for others and mySelf. Increased Wisdom.
Saw my final Guru, Swami Sri Master Ram of Ben Lomond, California, who told me I was right on the verge of full and total Enlightenment, and that it could happen at any moment. His criterion for full and total Enlightenment is that all the chakras are clear.
Easter Sunday night, April 20, 2003
One whole long chakra opened from the GODHEAD chakra above the Crown chakra down through and below the feet chakra, sideways as the Fourth Eye is often depicted on Shiva and Quan Yin.
Initially a quickening of the Inner Core led to full chakra opening all the way down. The Inner Core I formerly experienced as Presence of GOD Energy is now apparently the Energy of GOD ItSelf. Inner Core came out and is radiating as in the pictures of the oval radiance around the Virgin of Guadeloupe.
Experienced being out in space and having access to all the power in the Universe and in the next moment absolutely no need to use it, along with the Devotional Certainty of the Loving Authority of GOD.
Very still within the physical body for days. Energy very still except for hands, feet, and crown. Walking is different, so expanded, unaware of center of gravity, like the tide of the ocean rolling from side to side while moving ahead slowly.
Gratitude to all my true Gurus in all my lives.
Major shifting going on where I used to call the Crown Chakra and first chakra. I heard the first chakra is re-wiring because service does not require a body. (My only reason for remaining is service and no longer fear the body may not be able to stay in long enough to do my Destiny. The Destiny will complete whether there is a body or not.)
No fear of the unknown. No sense of individual self. No sense of separation from GOD. No one to pray to or ask for help. No fear.
Almost none of my usual former spiritual practices work, I heard because they are not needed any more. No longer any urgency for more Experience. For many years I have had such a strong focus I did little else but serve and practice. The huge structure I had developed towards my own full and total Enlightenment has fully redirected towards assisting others have their own experience.
Reduced physical sensation between knees and forehead. Body very still. Initially used a mild herbal laxative to jump-start peristaltic action as the colon had not been doing so on its own for some days. Reduced need for massage, acupuncture, and chiropractic.
Wisdom continues to integrate. At times, aware of looking out of long sideways "eye." At others, experiencing Radiating in the same way as the Virgin of Guadeloupe, which feels like the "Eye" fully open. At others, moving all of the way out in front of the "Eye."
Very dispassionate. Totally unaffected by others discharging junk. Boundary-setting easy. Awakenings and spontaneous healings occur in the Presence. Animals, Nature, humans, all same value and priority.
May 13th, 2003 more deepening, then more in June.
September 24, 2003
Now more Cave of the Heart described by Ramana Maharshi. It is apparent that the GODHEAD Energy expresses out of the Spiritual Heart Chakra in a somewhat different manner than I experience out of the Crown Chakra.
Cave experience has now expanded to a much larger deeper space beyond my chest with very intense GODHEAD Energy expressing there. Pentecost Flames line the inside of the cave. There are no words.
March 4, 2004
More Enlightenment for mySelf on Valentine's Day and last week during the Enlightenment Intensive. Three students also had additional Awakenings. I have been somewhat quiet with integrating and just haven't been verbal beyond necessity until a few days ago. The most recent experience seemed like a marker one. As the energy of Consciousness and the GODHEAD merged with the Spiritual Heart, I experienced such Sweetness. It healed sadness I had had earlier when students had refused spiritual experiences and/or had them and not been able to integrate them. It has allowed me to be more present.
March 25, 2004
The Enlightenment I experienced tonight was a whole new level. More Sweetness of GOD. Then the central sun of the GODHEAD Energy I used to experience above my Crown Chakra moved down inside through the Crown into my center and stayed. Greatly expanded Guru Heart. Felt recent Enlightenment is being integrated rapidly with what occurred tonight.
April 25th, 2005
Monday evening last week after Satsang in St. Louis, I began more experience, which continues.
Initially I was aware of great ocean apparently moving through where this apparent body was. It is great deep water moving through where the apparent left side begins and apparently out through the right. It is steady and with some slight wave to its movement, the way water is in its depths.
No awareness of physical body. More that I am this ocean of Brahman. OM
Then an awareness of an amount of Revealed Consciousness being part of this ocean. Not a speck, the way i experienced the ego just before it was swallowed up years ago in the initial progression of experience, but a substantial amount.
Then up on the surface of the water to the upper right i experienced a brief flicker superimposed on the water's surface, which broke up repeatedly, unable to hold its form, the way moonlight shining on the water breaks up because of the moving surface of the water. Understood that this was the apparent body, unable to hold its form because it is unreal, has no substance, and is merely superimposition. OM
Then aware of flickering Energy around the Spiritual Heart area, the size of the whole chest down to the diaphragm and up to the base of the neck, like a square picture frame with no picture in it. It feels like Pentecost Energy all the way around the opening, strong active Energy moving out from the edges of the enlarged Spiritual Heart chakra rectangular opening.
The Energy with this is great in a deep Still way. I experience it still. The movement has stirred up some organ response. i can barely and only occasionally eat.
A few days after this started, i went out to eat Chinese seafood with a student and mid-way between swallowing vitamins after dinner, went to the bathroom and vomited everything up.
Heard that i couldn't eat anything this solid when the Kundalini is this active. i had a similar experience many years ago the night the Kundalini activated. I have not been moved to take any vitamins since then except some liquid iron once a day. i am moved to start some again this morning and observe body's ability to process.
Mainly drink juices, and eat a small bowl of yogurt once a day.
Occasionally can eat small amount of tuna fish or a few bites of avocado; some days mango.
Mornings eat cherries and drink a green drink with a protein powder and amino amino enzymes in it.
Have plenty of energy. Feel great. Some days and nights am Radiating constantly, sometimes from the arms and legs, others whole chest and abdominal area, at others Throat Chakra, Crown Chakra.
The following spiritual experience occurred Saturday night.
The experiences it has touched off for all of the students who had come in from some distances, as well as those of the residents here, and my own integration AND the Enlightenment Intensive that began Sunday night has taken all of my time and energy. It has also taken a while to get to be able to verbalize it.
Some days before, I heard to give GOD my emotional body. I immediately prayed and did so. I prayed that prayer again several times over the next several days. It has allowed me to remain silent rather than express frustration by yelling when someone does something unconscious around me. I do not want to abuse with this energy or voice. OM Staff has been falling apart while trying to function in this new increased energy and service that has arisen out of it.
As a result, at times, i am assisting with the cooking And serving food And the only staff able to function in the Meditation Room And driving mySelf back and forth And straightening the Satsang Hall And making sure someone brings over pump soap for the bathrooms, And supervising the remaining renovation completions, land infringement of a neighbor, etc., And integrate. Somehow there is enough energy. Obviously the body is a lot stronger. Thank GOD.
Saturday night, Vishnu and i sat down to meditate in the Satsang Hall at Dharmasala (now The Enlightenment Monastery) for the first time in almost 10 years. A large amount of Radiation began around 9:30 p.m., according to Swami Rose, who was moved to join us then. OM
I became aware of the Kundalini rising easily up through the chakras and then pressing to come out through the Crown Chakra. It kept increasing pressure on the top of the head to come out, then receding for a short time, just the way a baby's head presses against the Mother's vaginal opening to open it enough to be born. Initially, I was vaguely aware that thoughts were releasing as the birth canal widened. I misted the Crown Chakra and used Oregold, a Perelandra Rose II essence on the Chakra, neck, and forehead and the ease of the opening increased. These remedies assist the skull plates, cerebral-spinal fluid, and sacrum adjust in the process of spiritual openings. What a Blessing.
Eventually a rounded column of Light began to emerge like a large Shiva linga coming out of the top of the Crown Chakra. As it continued to rise, I experienced the outer head of the apparent physical body split open and the skin on the arms and chest peel back and fall away. A Gold Energy Divine Body emerged, totally uncovered as the regular physical body just parted and fell away all the way down to the feet. This body is obviously my own, and is life-sized and has no hair. This was not a visualization. I was experiencing it literally as I was seeing it.
The Energy was intense.
Once the Kundalini was completely out of the body, still connected at the soles of the feet, it changed presentation and became pure Energy once again, rushing back down through the chakras like a freight train. It paused when it got to the Spiritual Heart and came out as it had in the experience earlier in St. Louis, with a flickering around the outside of the Spiritual Heart, now as wide as the whole chest area, and from the top of the chest area to just below the rib cage, only not in the physical body.
Next, the Kundalini rushed on all the way out through the rest of the body, continually moving through like a river at the velocity of a train for a long time. When it reached the arms, it came through very strongly. This was not some minor chakra opening. It was the whole width of the apparent arm, and seems like the whole arm is one large open chakra channel. The energy raised the arms at one point with the strength and velocity of the transmission they were Radiating so that they were outstretched and no longer resting on the arms of the chair.
It took a little while getting through the pelvic area (I was lying in a recliner chair and not fully prone, which may have had something to do with that), and then broke through and rushed down through the apparent legs. Eventually they, too, were Radiating with enormous width of the opening and strength of the transmission. When the energy completed its transit and rushed out the apparent feet, it seemed as if the Earth was also receiving an enormous Transmission, as well as the students. OM
This went on for hours, and completed shortly after 1 a.m. Vishnu and Swami Rose spent most of it some feet away on the floor with their Crown Chakras aimed towards me. They were deep for a long time.
I heard inside at different points with a lot of Energy present:
"Crossed over into Bliss-Consciousness at 11:14 p.m."
"Guru Purnima is early."
"Matreiya Buddha. Thousands are coming. Thousands are coming."
"Triumvirate. Triumvirate. (in relation to Swami Rose, Vishnu laughing, and mySelf)"
Outside, downstairs the students were brought into meditation for hours wherever they were when it started. I heard they weren't ready to be there.
As I integrate, I experience greater ease is assisting students with releasing blockages that previously seemed complex for all. Words are easier to come out coherently. Energy transmissions often occur from all over the apparent body. I feel one Energy body, rather than a string of apparently separate Chakras. The voice has deepened and become more melodious. The Massage Therapist says that the former muscular tension in the muscles is gone. The chiropractor is ecstatic. He says I have a totally new body.
I took no vitamins for days, and yesterday was moved to return to a reduced number. Eating simple soups and juices, some fruit, occasional salads.
In and out of meditation, and as best I can am serving the students.
In-between, the body falls over, exhausted from birth.
I feel totally different. Divine Body. Greater Consciousness. More mature, adult.
Over the years, I have had many energy experiences. This outstripped it exponentially. I don't even know how to describe it in proportion. It has no comparison. The transition to it was very simple. Not far to go. Very different on the other side. OM
I don't know how to express Gratitude for this. I have no-one separate to thank. I am beyond Gratitude. Gratitude has become MySelf. OM I Am the One. I lay this at My feet.
I have no way to thank Master Ram in any way that could be equal to the Gift, except to serve this GODHEAD Self. OM
This is quite a bit to integrate. OM I have released any attachment to remaining in seclusion. The first time I taught in St. Louis it was obviously over.
I have remembered more of the experience.
When the Energy rushing down through was the strongest, I heard
"There is no returning from this."
"Triumvirate . . . World Peace."
I feel very detached about the meaning of these experiences. Full and total Enlightenment remains the goal until this is complete. And this does feel like a marker experience, if not the completion. OM
Who I Am is far more significant that any Destiny assignment I may express as mere play of GOD.
Feeling humbled and yet able. Clearly what have occurred is not the creation of personality, nor is what is here now. Erasure of what was not allows The Real to shine through.
I notice increased discernment and the ability to act. Yesterday on the Intensive, Vishnu Laughing described his apparent Fourth Eye opening. Then reported he had commanded one of my disciples to do something and that he had given spiritual instruction to several of my disciples that morning. It was obviously spiritual arrogance expressing.
I was moved to close his Fourth Eye back down until his discernment and integrity have developed to a level where he can be appropriate in handling GOD'S Gifts and represent the GODHEAD.
It is clear that the Energy Radiating is so strong right now that anyone with whom I have a connection who is open around me will have their next spiritual experience and when they stay open they may have more. I am seeing to make sure it is not beyond their actual capacity to integrate. OM
I am paying attention to Master Ram's instruction of years ago not to give pearls to swine.
Another experience I had in St. Louis I am remembering to share is that a few days prior to the major Monday night experience of Brahman, I was on the bodywork table of one of my students who was doing some simple arm releases.
I was suddenly aware of floating down a river of the Energy of GOD, feet first past beautiful scenic spots, a number of them, on both sides of the banks, and understood that I had taught in all of these places. Some were pavilions or nature scenes, others temples or other kinds of buildings. I was not counting at the time. In retrospect it seemed as if there were ten or so.
Then I was aware of Lord Shiva bending down and Blessing me by dipping His trident in the water. Next, there were two Chinese-looking figures, one perhaps Quan Yin, the other perhaps in a distinguished male body, both with long ornate robes. They were leaning over, Blessing me.
I felt very peaceful and moved mainly by being in GOD'S Flow. OM
I am more speechless than usual. There is more GOD than Who I Am, and that Who I Am is GOD. Feel non-separation, non-dual. Whole not in having come together. Whole in that I Am That without question. Misconceptions erased. Strong and sweet. Humorous, Wisdom, Energy, Still, Complete, without longing.
BEING is the Gratitude i offer Master Ram, my final Guru. OM Spontaneous Expression serves.
December ?, 2005
Last week had a series of spontaneous experiences with my male and female aspects as Queen and King, both as monks working out new ways of experiencing Internal Union together that were not sexual.
Also, for maybe the last three weeks I have experienced one clear sweet bell-like ring in my apparent right ear as I am coming out of meditation, maybe two or three times a week.
Great disinterest in everything but doing a good job serving. The great focus of the last 20 years on full and total Enlightenment is dismantling. Sometimes at a loss about what is next. Then just moved to play or sit, look out the widow to see the scenery I have scarcely allowed myself to take time to notice over the years so intent was I. Now i see it in longer moments and then internal for a timeless period. Watching children's movies.
Letting go of pictures about this experience and integration. In many ways it is different from all the previous ones. Obviously totally a different level. A few similarities. Knowing comes. Every day it is different. Muscular tension and churning coming up noticeably some days, primarily up in diaphragm area. Also muscular stiffness and numbness some days from neck down to calves.
Increased my B12 dose to a sublingual 1,000 mg dose, which took care immediately of muscular stiffness and numbness. Feel very detached about apparent symptoms most of the time. Moved to take good care of body so as to be able to have a healthy instrument for longer consistent service.
No longer fear/dread/avoid future human incarnation. Coming back to serve seems fine. Inner plane service seems fine.
No lasting strength to residue coming up. Just shift attention and at some time it leaves without my noticing.
Greater Clarity, seeing what is next, finishing it, pointing it out for others.
Two staff from Planning and Zoning called yesterday to tell us they only needed the parking plan to approve the change in facility usage we applied for last Monday. They have not ever called us first before. A student took it in before lunch and before he could leave the receptionist told him he could pick up the approved permit after 2:30 p.m. the same day. They approved it without even going to the property. The fire evacuation plan is almost ready, then the Fire Dept. can do their walk-through and we are done on the Monastery property. OM
No need to use any of the aromatherapy oils I have used everyday for almost a year for emotional/mental clearing and detachment and shield protection.
One moment yesterday aware of access to enormous power and in the next of no need or inclination to use it.
Fearlessness extends. Not in bravado, just unafraid, knowing Who I Am. Not even afraid of Master Ram's response any more. That attachment is gone, too. Not that He is frightening in any way. Just a former fear of rejection or judgement, that I would not be good enough to be taught or Enlighten or serve.
That my gift of service is acceptable unto the Lord is Moving.
Bowels moving again without additional assistance. Fear of the unknown that at times accompanies pre-Enlightenment has passed.
Increased compassion with detachment. Cats are able to be around the energy again in doses.
All my appointments cancelled until Friday. Good to have a pause.
Everyone is sharing more. Limited resources going around further. All is well in Enlightenment land. OM
Major shifting going on where I used to call the Crown chakra and first chakra. I heard the first chakra is re-wiring because service does not require a body. (My only reason for remaining is service and no longer fear the body may not be able to stay in long enough to do my Destiny.)
No fear of the unknown.
The bardo experience involved me successfully prying away the attempted clutching of two remaining deep-seated fears. Remembered later that in the Kung Fu system the final test of the Shambala Masters is to fight their fears/lower personality.
No sense of individual self. No sense of separation from GOD. No-one to pray to or ask for help. No fear. Can rebuke negativity in GOD'S Name as GOD'S child.
Almost none of my usual spiritual practices work. I heard because they are not needed any more. Awareness there is now time to walk around the property occasionally, sing more (the voice I was given years ago and was unable to fully integrate is back). I don't need the voice training I felt necessary then. I just need to sing.
Can take time to weave, do embroidery as balance for service. No longer any urgency for my own Enlightenment. For years I have had such a strong focus I did little else but serve and practice.
Reduced physical sensation between knees and forehead. Body very Still. Am using Dr. Christoper's Lower Bowel Cleanse, a mild herbal laxative to jump-start peristaltic action as the colon has not been doing so on its own. Walking not always easy.
Creating space in schedule for integration. Have delayed starting programs in Phoenix for two weeks. Cancelling acupuncture appointments and last week completed with my massage therapist. Simple menu.
Feel very dispassionate. Totally unaffected by others
Wisdom continues to integrate. Devotional certainty of the Loving Authority of GOD.
At times, aware of looking out of long sideways "eye." At others, experiencing radiating in the same way I described before as often depicted with the Virgin of Guadalupe, which feels like the "Eye" fully open. At others, stepping all of the way out in front of the "eye."
Have seen no Scripture that describes this. Aware it is a rare Blessing.
Others are moved as well. Others continue to deepen earlier experience and integrate. Reducing schedules to give the time they did not do before.
Discharging stuff. Easier times setting boundaries.
Such a simple shift. So profound.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You, Master Ram. You did your job. Well done. Ahmen. OM
Easter Sunday night
Great Dispassion for days.
OM Earlier tonight one whole chakra opened from the GODHEAD chakra above the Crown chakra down through and below the feet chakra, sideways as the Fourth Eye is often depicted on Lord Shiva and Quan Yin.
Initially quickening of inner core lead to full Chakra opening all the way down. Inner core I formerly experienced as Presence of GOD Energy is now apparently the Energy of GOD ITSELF. Inner Core came out and is Radiating as in the pictures of the oval radiance around the Virgin of Guadalupe.
Very gentle transition, far easier than when the apparent individual chakras opened over the years.
Very Still within the physical body for some days now. Chakras very Still except for hands, feet, and crown. Walking is different. So expanded. Not aware of center of gravity. Feels more like the tide of the ocean rolling from side to side while moving ahead slowly.
One bunch of roses next to me bloomed wider than they had been before. Another group of roses have shifted in the vase towards where I was sitting from earlier being equally distributed within their vase.
Sang lots today in celebration of GOD, Easter, surrender.
This experience presented shortly after serving someone to integrate his earlier Nirvikalpa Samadhi experience of some years ago, and the bulk of it completed a little after 9 p.m. tonight.
Slight vertigo last night in the middle of the night and again just now.
Thank You, Master Ram, for all Your Service in all the lifetimes.
Gratitude to all my true Gurus in all my lives. OM
May 2, 2005
More Enlightenment today. Sweet Love and Joy permeating throughout space. Heard inside,
"I AM Pleased. You are promoted."
Tuesday morning, May 24, 2005
On Saturday evening I had a deepening of experience of the inner flame in the Heart Cave, and for some days have had a sense of the Central Sun Within Radiating, and that is where the Kundalini fire has been originating from. Eating yogurt has helped, and also covering my whole body with it. Smelling roses always helps to some degree, and one of the Ashram cats has been smelling them and then eating rose petals several times every day, and seems much calmer and more balanced. I have eaten a few myself, and that helps at times. Mornings when i get up I turn on the air conditioning early and have it on most of the day and night until just before I go to bed. During the retreat, we had it on until 9 o'clock at night, as many of us were experiencing such heat.
The yogurt has so many calories that I have put back on a couple of pounds, however, I am sure it will drop away as the condition continues to lessen and it is no longer needed.
The vertigo is lessening, also the nausea. Last night i was able to lie flat to sleep and also to turn over several times without so much vertigo that it was tolerable. That will certainly help the pressure sores that were developing around the sacrum, and my ankles are no longer swollen for the first time in a week. OM GOD is GOOD.
Interestingly, this vertigo has been quite different from all other such previous experiences in my life. I have had such inner ear imbalances off and on for maybe 25 years at certain marker times spiritually. Always before, I had a sense of falling backwards, being knocked off my feet. This time, it has been that I am in the center and the external world is spinning around me, like the planets around the sun. It has been less disorienting.
I do feel less affected by all the changes we have been through than at other times.
Somehow, every day we have what we need.
Jan 12, 2009
Rumi Swami and I did a gazing meditation here at the Ashram.
I am aware of Gold GODHEAD Energy coming down further than ever before. For some years it has been around the elbows and above, and today it has gone all the way down around the feet, or rather, the entire apparent form is permeated with GODHEAD Energy and I am totally up in the GODHEAD Chakra. I heard
For several years now I have been aware of being up into the GODHEAD Energy up to the elbows, and have experienced it is like like wearing a gold energy cape down around the shoulders and upper arms to the elbows, the way a king might wear a cape of office. OM Today, I am aware of being totally up in the GODHEAD Energy that I started off years ago in front of Master Ram experiencing above the Crown chakra. OM
The energy field feels stronger, especially in the lower legs and feet and then throughout the trunk and arms, hands, and head.
The entire energy body is in the GODHEAD chakra and I am aware of the soles of the feet of this energy body on the earth, grounded. OM
I was told at one point to release any attachment to one long-term student having full and total Enlightenment in this life, as she may not. I did so, and then went into deeper Enlightenment. OM
I heard that I have done what I can do, and that I have turned her over to a higher authority, and that she is no longer my responsibility. OM I saw that she has a lot of mental rigidity in her head that needs to be addressed. She knows the spiritual practices to do. She just needs to choose repeatedly to do them. OM I wish her well and I love her. May GOD Bless her, and may she open repeatedly to HIS Love.
I had at one point a sense of gold coming to the Ashram owed from past lives kind acts, and to be discerning about its use, that it is to establish the Ashram for years to come, so that we are independent from the economy and students. OM As GOD Wills.
Oct 17, 2009
Thursday evening Blessing of more Enlightenment during the first evening of the quarterly retreat. I experienced great laughter coming out of mouths on the locations where the physical body had earlier caused concern: the lower abdominal fat, puffiness under each eye, lumpy ankles, stiff knees, and laughed in Great Celebration and Joy for some time.
Healing energy passed through the body. OM
At some point I saw Christ seated at the table for the Last Supper viewing Him from the side at the entrance of the Upper Room, and that I had been there. (Observing as Mark, His future Evangelist, then eight years old at the Last Supper in my Mother's house.) I was aware that Christ had called me, "marked" me for GOD'S service. OM
Later, I read that merriment is associated with Divali. It came early for the Ashram of Enlightenment this year. OM
Oct 18, 2010
I had an interesting and moving internal communication this morning when I sat in the chair in front of the Sages Wall here at the Ashram.
I heard that I would have 16 more years (in incarnation) and that there were things to finish before I leave (books, DVD's etc.). Integration of Realization is almost through it's first edit. OM
Then I heard repeatedly from Christ with others in the background with emphasis, "We want you here (as on the inner plane)." I asked for more data. I heard that after the 16 years here, that I would be needed on this inner plane (implying a lot would be going on here on the earth plane, and I could best assist from there. I had some short hesitation (because of remembering I had been told earlier I would reincarnate and teach in this lineage), and then surrendered to GOD'S Will on this.
Then I was told that I would have time there (unspecified in earth time) and then be sent back to serve here (at this Ashram). OM
I also noticed that the energy for the Swiss Ashram I am carrying was loosened and the space between the physical body and the energy walls of the Swiss Ashram was cleared, so that there is more space for the physical body and it can reduce the arthritis symptoms. OM
Dec 21, 2010
Today, on the massage table, after several uncomfortable nights tossing and turning with apparent bursitis and tendonitis pain, suddenly I was shown that I was experiencing the end of the life of Mark, the Evangelist, as he was dragged through the streets. The arms were apparently not tied to his body as he was dragged by a rope around his feet, and arms and shoulders flopped round and were injured as he was dragged.
The small wounds I have experienced lately sleeping wearing a cross were related to this past life.
I was reminded of the muscular arthritis, the fibrositis, this body experienced in the 1970’s, and while running away from an angry husband, falling, and being kicked in the ribs while I lay on the floor, and realized that that ex was one of Mark’s persecutors. OM
I heard that Christ “gave His body to be broken for the New Testament.” Christ’s body was broken during the whipping. OM His blood was shed, as was Mark’s, so that men might see the kind of beings they were, so transformed by GOD that Christ forgave those who tormented Him on the cross, and Mark praised GOD and Christ as he was being dragged through the streets of Alexandria for two days to his death. OM
This was the New Testimony of Love and forgiveness, rather than reviling and cursing the persecutors. OM There is a certain truth that comes out in the midst of such occasions that confirms what has been said with the way you live your life that cannot be questioned. OM No wonder there were conversions at the cross and following that experience. Who could deny this Testimony?!
Then, suddenly, I was at the feet of Christ in Heaven, hugging His dear feet, and so Glad to be with Him again. I experienced being warmly and Lovingly welcomed by this dear Loved One.
Then Christ waved His arm, showing me how much of the world we could see from there. No interest arose. I only had eyes for Him.
I told Him I did not ever want to leave Him, and He told me He would send me back, and with the wave of His arm I experienced being suddenly back in incarnation.
I was told that in 30 years, at the end of this incarnation, I would be able to come back for a longer period, that I “deserved a rest.” OM
“By His Love we are healed.” At the feet of Christ, enveloped in His Love, I had no memory of torture or death. I was so healed that when I was sent out again to serve in the world, I had no sense of loss, including of apparently leaving Him. There was no past in my awareness. I was in the moment, fresh and new. OM
Apr 14, 2011
This morning in meditation I was told that I am one of GOD'S first responders, because I respond quickly to His Call, and that I have been given a spiritual promotion with the name Saint Grace. OM
Last night, after we hung the pictures of Lord Shiva and Lord Hanuman and finished up most of the remaining items in Sage Cottage, I was moved to bring the Energy into the house and property. I was told that this is a twin to GOD'S HOUSE, in that it a a beacon of LIGHT for GOD for the United States, which will now become more stable, saving Social Security, just barely. OM
Thank YOU ALMIGHTY GOD I AM PRESENCE FOR ALL. OM OM OM Thank You, Sri Swami Master Ram. I am at the FEET of GOD.
April 24, 2012
Buddha of the Age
In doing a gazing meditation with Lotus Love in GOD’S House Satsang Hall, I experienced much Gold Light. At some point I heard,
several times, then,
"’Maharaj’ is seldom given to a woman, and it is yours."
Then after the Gold light continued for some time, I experienced at first having the Gold figure come all the way out of the Crown chakra, in the slightly noticeable form of a woman and also androgynous.
Then, over time I was aware of my Self as a seated figure on a large open lotus, and then the lotus grew larger and somewhat elevated, like a throne, yet still a lotus.
Swami Lotus Love saw this as well.
Then the area around the apparent body sitting in the apparent lotus throne grew more apparently solid, like a Gold seated Buddha, and I heard that this would help the physical body to not be affected by the third chakra blocks in people around me. OM
Then I heard,
"Buddha of the Age.
This part had stronger energy than with the Maharaj. (I understood later that this was likely because I had been given the title Maharaj some years before, and had not realized it. OM)
"Your influence will be felt for a thousand years.
Use it well."
I am aware that this is more than a title. It is an assignment. OM
I accept my assignment for GOD.
This experience went on for maybe an hour and a half. Rumi Swami, Swami Persistence Love, and Swami Mercy Love were all present and at some point went down into spontaneous long pranaams in the Satsang Hall.
Then spontaneous laughter came out, then others spontaneously laughing, and a lot of laughter on the part of all gathered that went on for some time.
Then I was aware of Christ and Bhagavan and others appearing in front of me in a friendly comradely manner, and that wherever I go, they are with me.
"50 could Enlighten here."
Great Gratitude to GOD, Swamiji, and all the Sages who have come before. OM OM OM
I am speechless. This is all really beyond words. This is way beyond any previous experience.
I feel detached.
This experience came unbidden, and was totally unexpected.
On another level, nothing has changed.
This is not about me. It is about Loving GOD and serving GOD. OM
Tonight it was apparent that I also had more Mental Enlightenment during this experience. Swami Lotus Love had Mental Awakening during this dyad. OM OM OM
GOD has Blessed us all as we go forward serving GOD for the Enlightenment of the world. OM OM OM
Jun 14, 2011
Last night when I prayed, "GOD, all there is IS YOU and YOURS. How may I serve YOU today?" I heard,
"Transmit LOVE wherever you go."
I committed to do so. OM
I am Thankful. It is a Blessing to serve. Thank You, Master Ram, for all Your support on all levels. GOD Bless You Forever.
Oct 15, 2011
Last night when I prayed the prayer that Master Ram gave me, "GOD, all there is is YOU and YOURS, how may I serve YOU today?" I heard,
"Will you Radiate for Enlightenment all the rest of your life and then some?"
I committed to Radiate for Enlightenment all the rest of my life and then some.
I am so Blessed. Thank You, Master Ram, for Your part in this. GOD Bless You many times over.
The Absolute All Direct Experience.
July 13, 2012
Absolutely all there is, Is GOD. All else falls away, dissolves; disappears.
The Absolute All is the Absolute All. (There was a lot more of this very high Vedanta. I have no memory.)
I experienced the One large oval chakra from above the Crown Chakra to below the apparent feet and outside of the hands (like the radiation around the Virgin of Guadalupe as deep Void, then Stillness, then the Center of It in the area of the Spiritual Heart as profound Love surrounded by Deep Stillness, unaffected Serenity.
I heard "Cosmic Heart," then stronger,
Then I experienced Europe being taken up into the Buddha Heart and everything being made simpler. I saw politicians apologizing to their people for going off track. I saw governments becoming smaller, more regional, more local.
I experienced them shifting away from power to service. I saw war as an outdated concept that was no longer attractive. Then Europe was released out of the Buddha Heart back to its land formation. All was simpler, cleaner; smaller.
Then I saw the Middle East taken into the Buddha Heart. It also became simpler, and calmer. I saw sheiks returning money they had stolen from their people, and redistributing wealth. I saw oil being returned to the earth. Then I saw the Middle East being returned to its land formation.
Then I saw Africa being taken into the Buddha Heart, and a similar process.
As each grouping was returned to its land formation, there are fewer people and simpler lives. OM
GOD gave humans free will and when they went too far, HE reined them in [through famine, war, pestilence, drought, fire].
In each case, the return is to focus on GOD and service. People come home in the evening and say, “How was your service today?”
Saw larger group of people coming to GOD’S House on Sundays to give Thanks to GOD. Saw them lying on the floor hands up, and the Energy in the attic of GOD’S House Satsang Hall sucking up their stuff, like a vacuum cleaner.
Was shown the energy of GOD’S House spreading out gradually further into the neighborhood and Wittenwil. OM
Oct 13, 2012
An Amazing moment with ALMIGHTY GOD I AM PRESENCE yesterday. HE spoke to me in these words,
"MY Dear Love"
with such Love and tenderness. I was so touched and moved that the rest of the words HE said did not register significantly. It was about this body will be taken care of. OM OM OM HE was pleased. Over the years, HE has very occasionally called me by name, but not ever, MY Dear Love before now. OM
I am SO GRATEFUL. I Love HIM So. OM OM OM I am at HIS Feet.
Dec 17, 2012
I was told that the Patriarchs were making a space for me, (for later) and that they are sending supporting Energy. Later, I experienced En-Heartening Energy coming down into the top of my Spiritual Heart from them.
This morning I experienced two of them massaging these hands and lower arms for healing.
April 9, 2014
On this most recent plane trip to Switzerland I met many kind people. OM
During the transit on an electric cart in the Philadelphia airport with a kind woman driver who helped a number of elderly and infirm women to their gates, I heard this,
"You are kind, and are teaching many people to be kind.
That's why I am saving the world, because of you, and others like you."
"I wanted you to wear modern clothes. The Buddha wore the clothes of His day."
This appeared to be in relation to the recent clothing change.
I am So Very Grateful. And this occurred on Lord Rama’s birthday!!!!!
April 19, 2014
Some months ago, Christ told me,
“Wear more red. It will help with protection.”
I was reminded later that Christ often wore a red outer robe, or mantle, when He taught, and that it would remind me of Him.
Today, Christ said,
“I am passing My mantle to you,
This is His Blessing me to teach for Him. OM OM OM
Lord and Master Christ, I am Blessed beyond words.